First dates and eulogies

purplerain_spotlight-09d2a61ed4

My first date was with a boy named Derek. I was in grade 10, he was in grade 12. He took me to see the movie Purple Rain. During the movie he tried to put his arm around my shoulder and hit me in the cheek. I don’t think that was necessarily an omen but we didn’t last. Spooky.

We lost Prince this year. We have lost a lot of really exceptional artists in the past few years, but this one had significance because I mark that first date as the beginning of my struggle with being me versus being we. And honestly, in a lot of ways the lyrics of that song touch on how I’ve felt in many relationships, and how I have felt many times on my own.

Even now I might be the happiest happily married woman on the planet, but damn, this song gets me.

I am missing, and will continue to miss Prince.

I never meant to cause you any sorrow
I never meant to cause you any pain
I only wanted to one time to see you laughing
I only wanted to see you
Laughing in the purple rain

Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
I only wanted to see you
Bathing in the purple rain

I never wanted to be your weekend lover
I only wanted to be some kind of friend
Baby, I could never steal you from another
It’s such a shame our friendship had to end

Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
I only wanted to see you
Underneath the purple rain

Honey, I know, I know
I know times are changing
It’s time we all reach out
For something new, that means you too

You say you want a leader
But you can’t seem to make up your mind
I think you better close it
And let me guide you to the purple rain

Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
If you know what I’m singing about up here
C’mon, raise your hand

Purple rain, purple rain
I only want to see you
Only want to see you
In the purple rain

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One step forward and two steps back

earworms

This is my earworm for the day. Usually my earworms begin right as I wake, but in this case it didn’t hit me until I sat down with my morning coffee.

The song One Step Forward and Two Steps Back by Dessert Rose came out in 1987. That was the year I turned 19, the year after I finished high school. A year I was doing very little because I didn’t know what to do next.

And, ta-dah. It’s in my head right now as I am at home, unemployed in the last three years having years quit I job that made me sad, went back to school for a year, and returned to work for the same organization I left just in a different capacity and ended up even more sad.

I think this might be my current theme song.

Enjoy.

You held me up, held me down
Made me crazy, then you brought me around
Were my darkness and my light
You were my blindness and my sight

Were my shelter and my storm
Made me cold then you made me warm
You were my fever and my cure
Made me doubt then you made me sure

One step forward and two steps back
Nobody gets too far like that
One step forward and two steps back
This kind of dance can never last

You were my hope and my fears
You were my laughter and my tears
Were my destiny and my fate
Kept me movin’, you made me wait

Were my weakness and my power
You were the thorn and the flower
You were my sunshine and the rain
Made me feel so good, brought so much pain

Now one step forward and two steps back
Nobody gets too far like that
One step forward and two steps back
This kind of dance can never last

And we were never really meant for each other
We were never really meant to last
In the years that we danced together
Each step forward we took two steps back
Each step forward we took two steps back

Now one step forward and two steps back
Nobody gets too far like that
One step forward and two steps back
This kind of dance can never last

One step forward and two steps back
Nobody gets too far like that
One step forward and two steps back
This kind of dance can never last

Songwriter: PERRY, LEE